Sunday, February 17, 2013

about the HULK-O-STICKS and his female

     I have this thing on my mind from the day i payed my one year gym subscription 2 months ago (wich by the way is expensive like sh*t , 780€ normal, 470€ during a promo when a pizza is 7€...i understand why a lot of people are overweight)... last time i went in a gym club was in 2007 and people used to actually workout, but that was in the good ol' days....
     Now it seems you pay your heart out to see over-makeup-ed girls texting on overpriced smartphones while keeping the seat on the stationary bike from getting cold. And once in a while working out for 30 seconds....TAKE IT EASY FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE....GEEEZ, you dont wanna sweat off your face's wallpaper, do you? and in this whole time i'm sweating like a farm animal next to them...i know that in theory  i am doing the right thing to do in a gym, but practice is showing me something else....and this is only the foreplay of this expensive "disco-gym-hang out"
     Let's not forget the usual see you at the gym....in my days (and i'm only 26!) that meant : we will kill our workout together. This is gone with the wind too..... In 2013 you meet at the gym so you can describe you're whole young and restless life, to complain about your missing abs (i wonder why they're missing?! but don't worry, keep talking, they'll come back all by themselves, they couldn't just leave like that, you do gym 4 times a week, dont you?)
     Dont get me wrong, i am not against socializing, but dont mistake the Oprah set with a gym. Even if we're almost extincted, we're still a few left that socialize but work out too, and if we feel like talking more, we go out for a drink. It's simple and logic, at least for me.....

     Now that I've (almost) finished with the girls, gentlemen it's your turn. You love your body, you worship it. You take care of it like it was the most sacred temple in the universe... or you think you do, cause why else would you wanna have a Hulk's biceps and back with Barbie's legs??? Add a S shirt when you're an M-L, a penguin walk and voila you're temple... dedicated to the god of humor i guess, cause i can't stop OH MY GOD-ing...
    I was telling this to a friend while drinking a cup of coffee when i had this funny idea  so i started telling it with a serious narrator voice "and so, another species has been born.  It shall be called the HULK-O-BARBIE, also known as the HULK-O-STICKS*. He's attracted by places where normal people sweat; you can easily recognizes him by his outfit, probably stolen from someone 2 sizes smaller. His favorite  companion is the decoration-bimbo species that hangs out in the same place (also briefly described earlier in this post) . His hobbies are blowing up his upper body muscles while completely ignoring the notion of equally proportions. It is not known to humans if this species has a real brain, or if it's as fake as its Dolce & Babbanna underwear"
So if you're heading to the gym these days, watch carefully around you, 
grab a sour cherry and enjoy!



*There's a saying in a Eastern European country that describes shapeless legs as two sticks shoved in your as*...

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